I Was Beyond Desperate
“It’s hard to put into words something that changed life so dramatically. You hear people say something is a ‘life changing’ experience, but you don’t fully understand that until you experience it.
I will be 40 years old in November of this year (2010), and had spent more than half of my life battling weight issues. By the time I got in my late 20s I was loosing that battle horribly. I had ballooned to almost 300lbs and suffered from sleep apnea and clinical depression. I had existing hormonal and infertility issues as a result of polycystic ovarian disease, and everything just seemed to be one more brick on top of a wall that I was breaking under the weight of, and didn’t have the strength to crawl out from under.
I kept believing it was my fault, and if I only had some “will power” I could overcome this. What was wrong with me that I didn’t see how the weight was destroying me – why didn’t I just stop eating? Didn’t I see how people snickered out me when I walked by? How doors were literally closed in my face? Yet, always there was this hunger in the pit of my stomach. I ate because I was hungry, but then I would hate myself for eating because I was gaining weight. There were so many times, I literally cried through a meal or hid when I was eating to keep people from seeing me. I stopped taking pictures all together. I was slowly removing myself from life.
By the time I came to weight loss surgery and Dr. Tillquist’s office, I was beyond desperate. I was clutching at any possible straw. The education they provided on weight loss surgery showed me that I wasn’t pathetic or ridiculous. It wasn’t about “will power” it was about getting the help I needed to succeed. Reducing the number of calories I was taking in gave me the energy to exercise, and burn off more calories. I was able to develop a healthy balance between limiting intake and burning off the calories I did take in. Now it’s not just about how I look, but how I feel. How much healthier I am.
This surgery didn’t just change my life, it gave me back my life. For anyone considering this surgery, I hope my story can help you take the leap. There is help, things can be different. You don’t have to go through life fighting a loosing battle.”